I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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