And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
