i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
