I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize