You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
