Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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