ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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