not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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