My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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