So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
