That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
