There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
handjob tips. give me some.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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