I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
