I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize