Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
