I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize