Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
