guys are only as good as the porn they watch
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
