He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
