What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
