I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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