I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
