dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize