Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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