where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
