6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
