Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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