It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize