your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
