I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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