You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
