Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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