He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize