so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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