Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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