When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize