So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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