He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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