whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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