so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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