thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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