y did u give ur computer a hand job?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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