She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize