she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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