Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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