For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
