Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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