she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
