so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
