is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
