My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is wine microwaveable?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
