she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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