R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
