Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
