scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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