guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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