i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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