I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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