everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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