I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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