I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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