I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
