guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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