YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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