Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
