You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
