She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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