i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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