My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize